Saturday, November 24, 2007
Ye (i.e. Cassandra ME) of little faith.
Friday, November 23, 2007
700th posting. Hope I've got it wrong ... again
Monday, November 19, 2007
Remember the Mark Latham knuckle crunching handshake wot finally did him in?
Is this the Rodent shaking hands with the reverse rabbit out of the hat?
The Mad Monk at the top of his form couldn't have sunk the Coalition's election chances better.
WorkChoices here for good if Coalition wins: PM
Prime Minister John Howard says if the Coalition wins Saturday’s federal election a future Labor government would never be able to repeal the Government’s controversial WorkChoices legislation.
“If we win on Saturday then the reforms that we have brought about will never be reversed by a future federal Labor government,” he said.
“They will become part of the furniture. They will become so embedded in our business and workplace culture that no future Labor government would be able to reverse them.”
As one recalls that's pretty much the sort of thing wot was said about slavery in America, apartheid in Seth Africa and no votes for the sheila classes everywhere.
A prediction for what might happen a couple of days out from the election if the current Coalition strategeryists have their wicked way?
A front page photo in the Gubbermint Gazette of an Akubra and Drizabone bedecked John Winston spontaneously bear hugging Ben Cousins after a game of beach bocce in the grounds of Hyacinth's beloved Kirribilli-Joh-Bob House.
Labels: Election 2007
Sunday, November 18, 2007
Week Six :- The funeral countdown.
“Good morning, Mr. Prime Minister. Your mission, John, should you continue to accept it, is to duchess, cajole, terrify and bribe the Howard Battlers lest King Kevin 07 ascend into heaven. As always, should you or any of your election promises be caught or killed, the Party will disavow any knowledge of your actions. Please dispose of this recording in the usual manner. Good luck, John.”
Labels: Election 2007
Friday, November 16, 2007
The Coalition's champagne ad regarding risky wrist management.
(Hat tip to Random Brainwave.)
Labels: Election 2007, I DO NOT believe it. (I lied. Of course I do.), WTF
Monday, November 12, 2007
We watched the Coalition election launch and it was hard for us not to be impressed
Labels: Election 2007, The Rodent
Wednesday, November 07, 2007
If this is an index of good management, then dear reader ... please fill in the gaps at will.
Rate rise proof of good management: Costello
Federal Treasurer Peter Costello says today’s interest rate rise is proof of good economic management, and a reason for Australians to keep the Coalition in power.
This morning the Reserve Bank nudged the interest rate up 0.25 per cent to 6.75 per cent, an 11-year-high and the sixth rise since the 2004 election.
Mr Costello says he is sorry for home owners who now face mortgage interest rates of 8.5 per cent, 
but he says the rate rise is because of Australia’s strong economy, high inflation rate and low unemployment.
Mr Costello says it is proof of good economic management, which voters should ensure continues.
Some naysayers might suggest this begs the question of "who would you trust not to be able to organise a f**k in a broffel with a fistful of seasonally adjusted (goodness me, hasn't that tried, barely tested and barely true "seasonally adjusted" weasel clause gone out the window nowadays?) fifty dollar notes?"
Pshaw! This is the Treasurer we had to, and deserved to have. Barristers make great treasurers! Don't youse people know nuthink?! Next thing youse'll be telling us is that suburban solicitors don't make great prime ministers!! Cretins!!!
The Treasurer then went on to explain that he would liked to have expanded these self evident points, but he had to leave for a pressing engagement with the Governators' of the Reserve Bank, at which meeting he would show these inept bastards how to bend spoons, sell London Bridge 100 times without having to actually part with anything looking vaguely like real estate and how to sell insurances policies to people who step too close to the edge of the World and fall off.
Labels: Election 2007, WTF
Monday, October 22, 2007
Now the real campaign begins.
"Men and worms of Australia! The decision we will make for our country on the twenty fourth of November is a choice between the past and the future, between the debates of the past and the demands and opportunities of the future. There are moments in history when the whole fate and future of compost heaps can be decided by a single decision. For Channel Nine this is such a time. It's time for a new team, a new program, a new drive for equality of opportunities: it's time to create new opportunities for Australian television viewers, time for a new vision of what we can achieve in this generation for our nation and the region in which we live. It's time for a new regime - a helodrilus caliginosus regime."
(With apologies to Gough Whitlworm, 1972.)
Labels: Election 2007
The Great Debate.
... and why didn't we have this fine level of debate last night?
Mr Howard was enjoying his regular early morning walk along the shore of lake Burley Griffin when another walker shouted at him.
“You’re a disgrace John,” the man said.
“You’re such a bad economic manager.”
Mr Howard ignored the man, but a fellow walker defended the prime minister.
“Shut up you idiot,” a young man said in defence of Mr Howard.
I blame the parents, the teachers ... and the parents and teachers of the worm.
Labels: Election 2007
Thursday, October 18, 2007
The election we had to have. Report part the 5th.
It's hard to ignore the irrelevant in the room, that avuncular pachyderm, Joe Hockey.
Trotting (though Joe more lumbers than trots) out the figure of 70% trade union officials on the ALP front bench, Joe bleats and warns about how unrepresentative this is of the community.
On the other hand Uncle Joe doesn't see that the 64% of lawyers gracing the Coalition front bench might also be seen in some quarters as a tad unrepresentative.
Who do you trust when you're buying a used car? A picket of trade union officials or a party of the first part of lawyers? Tough call. Best buy a yearly train ticket.
And in other news we note that the Prime Minister has a soft spot in his heart for the lowly worm ...
A journalist ventured to ask about worms — the sort Howard wants banned from the TV screen during his debate with Rudd. Was he afraid of worms? "I'm not scared of the worm," he sputtered. "I love worms."
... and a quick run around with the word "WORM" in Google image search comes up with a reason for his affection for the humble helodrilus caliginosus.
Labels: Election 2007, Pox on 'em all., The Rodent
Tuesday, October 16, 2007
The election we had to have. Report part the 4th.
Monday, October 15, 2007
The election we had to have. Report part the 3rd.
Anything youse can do I can do just as badly.
A damaging goof by Kevin Rudd, given his growing image problem of being a man of spin, not substance:
Visiting Queanbeyan today, Mr Rudd was asked by a journalist to name the tax rates and where thresholds kick in.
Mr Rudd replied: “Well, as of July 1, if you went through the four thresholds, I think the high threshold kicks in I think at $175,000, then I think it cascades down the spectrum.’’
Mr Costello seized on the blunder, attacking Mr Rudd in parliament and pressing him to release Labor’s tax policy.
“He couldn’t name a single rate, he couldn’t name a single threshold, and the one threshold that he named of $175,000 … just doesn’t exist,’’ Mr Costello told parliament.This might be a small error of detail (of the kind John Howard would actually never make), but it suggests a genuine problem for Labor.
Astute observation courtesy of Bolta.
"WHO CAN YOU TRUST TO GET THE MOST BASIC OF FACTS RIGHT?
Mr Howard chose the first day of the campaign to unveil a surprise announcement of tax cuts worth $34 billion.
Last night on Channel Nine, there was another surprise, a slip-up from Mr Howard, when he was asked to name the official cash rate.
“It’s about 6.25,” he said, instead of 6.5 per cent.
In the same interview the Prime Minister also fluffed the figure for the average wage.
Again, let’s take a gecko at Bolta’s astute observation.
"This might be a small error of detail (of the kind John Howard would actually never make), but it suggests a genuine problem for ... "
"WHO CAN YOU TRUST TO GET THE MOST BASIC OF FACTS RIGHT?
Mike Willesee: “If I buy a birthday cake from a cake shop and GST is in place do I pay more or less for that birthday cake?”
John Hewson: ”...well, it will depend whether cakes today in that shop are subject to sales tax…or they’re not…firstly. And they may have a sales tax on them…Let’s assume that they don’t have a sales tax on them…then that birthday cake is going to be sales tax free. And of course it would be exempt…uh, the – then – of course – you wouldn’t pay…uh..it would be exempt…the – then…there would be no GST on it under our system. One with a sales tax on it today would attract a GST and…um…then the difference would be the difference between the two taxes whatever the…ahh…sales tax rate is on birthday cakes, how it’s decorated, because there will be sales tax perhaps on some of the decorations as well and of course the price….the price will reflect that accordingly.”
Willesee: “Just on the birthday cake, because I’m trying to pick up a simple example – you tell us in what you’ve published that the cost of cake goes down, the cost of confectionery goes up, there’s icing and maybe ice-cream, and then there is candles on top.”
Hewson: “Yes…yes…that’s the difficulty – that’s what I’m trying to address in the question. I need details on the cake to give an accurate answer. I mean if it’s just a cake from a cake shop – that’s not presently under sales tax – it will not attract the GST. If it is from a cake shop that falls under sales tax, with the candles, decorations as you say, then it will attract the – after scrapping the sales tax.”
Willesee: ”...okay…it’s just an example…If the answer to a birthday cake is so complex – you do have an overall problem with the GST, don’t you?”
Hewson: “Well, people don’t know how much tax they currently pay…”
Labels: Election 2007, The Rodent
The election we had to have. Report part the 2nd.
Mr Howard has rejected Mr Rudd’s claim to be an economic conservative.
“You have got to be joking. He has been an economic conservative for about five minutes. I have been one all of my life.,” he said.
On the other hand John Citizen has rejected Mr Howard’s claim to be a supporter of reconciliation.
“You have got to be joking. He has been a reconciliation supporter for about five minutes. I have been one all of my life.,” he said.
Labels: Election 2007, The Rodent
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